august 08, 2008 06:12pm
My Resignation and Resolve
My Resignation and Resolve
What I say unto one, I say unto all.
I don’t know what you’ve heard, or what you will hear. But this much is true:
On Monday, August 4, 2008, I submitted my resignation as Music Director and principle keyboardist of the Church after an evening meeting with the Pastors. Moreover, it has become apparent that I am expected to go out quietly, leaving the nature of my resignation and reputation up to hearsay, speculation, and whatever you may be told.
However, I’m not going out like that. If my name and the memory of my name is to be stricken, I think it’s only fair that you know the nature of the strike.
And while the very words that you read are no doubt against the Pastor's wishes, you are not mindless sheep. In truth, you are just as sovereign as I am, deserving of an opportunity to think for yourselves and draw your own conclusions.
You may not believe or agree with what I am about to say. But, chances are, if you’re still reading you’re prepared to listen. And that’s all we can hope for during this time of transition: to listen and seek to understand one another.
That said…
I no longer believe that Christianity is the one true faith. I resigned to avoid the inevitable conflicts with the church that would arise from my resolution. It was a matter of personal and professional integrity.
This is not to say that I immediately resigned as soon as my beliefs began to change. No, it was a gradual process that took place over time. During such time I evaluated my beliefs and with regard to the most appropriate time to make them known. Yes, the timing of my resignation was a bit off, but this was in part beyond my control.
This is not to say that I no longer believe in God or that I no longer believe in the historical figure of Jesus Christ. I am not an atheist, nor have I abandoned the essential respect that I have for the teachings and example of Jesus.
However, it is to say that I disagree with various fundamentals of the Catholic and Protestant Christian denominations, and to such an extent that I had to put an end to the rising hypocrisy within myself, and exit the faith.
I did not leave to join another religion.
I have no religion. Rather, I am guided by a search for truth, whatever the truth may be. It is both ironic and humbling that I have yet to discover the ultimate truth; nevertheless, I am thoroughly convinced that what I once believed is a lie.
Understandably, this may be disturbing to many, if not most. According to Pastor, I’m under demonic influence and void of understanding concerning the teachings of the church. Granted, our last meeting wasn’t pretty. Unfortunately, it culminated as a battle of egos more so than an actual discussion of beliefs.
So, he will tell you his side of the story, and I will say this:
I am not under demonic influence. And certainly “Sanctified Socrates” (as the Pastor once nicknamed me) is hardly void of understanding concerning the teaching of a faith and institution that I have rigorously studied for many years. Furthermore, the idea that someone—anyone, especially someone you know—can go from being heralded as a beacon of light to a minion of darkness overnight, is absurd.
You know me. You’ve walked and talked with me. You’ve heard the ministry of my music, Sunday after Sunday. We’ve laughed and communed together. You have trusted me, and I have trusted you. If anyone feels deceived, it is a self-deception. For the essential nature of my good character is unchanged. In fact, it speaks for itself... And has for many years.
In truth, I am a man searching. And my heart is prepared for the consequences of this search: the persecution and the power, the rejection and the rejuvenation, the fire and the freedom. Though my resignation was turbulent, I have no hard feelings. I have nothing but love for you; and I can only hope that should our paths cross again, you would have the same for me.
To the Pastor, I love you. And I know that you love me. This too will pass. I wish that this would have turned out differently; nevertheless, it is what it is.
To All, I am here for whatever questions you may have.
-Ozie
july 22, 2008 01:11am
Listening to Beautiful
And I, the Witness, looked up from my writings...
...And beheld a sight nearly impossible to describe.
Though of the most peculiar sort, the natives had led us to a place that felt so familiar. There at the gates of the hollow earth, the stars of heaven brightly shown above, embraced by the darkest realms of space. And this seen through an illustrious opening in the bluest sky, breathlessly clear above the consuming revelation guarded below.
"This is as far as we can take you," said their Chief.
And our Captain, for the courageous veteran he is, led the way. Jonah, there walking beside him. And as they walked, knowing that the two preceded us all moving forward, I could only see them as one man, a composite and single entity.
He looked like one of them.
And they received him into the opening.
We automatically followed.
-Ozie
june 13, 2008 06:16am
For years...
For years, I have tried to get the world’s attention with good deeds.
For years, I have tried to fit the mold of conventional wisdom, that good things come to those who wait.
For years, I have been the patient benefactor for so many destined not to save the world, but rather to add to its need… to continually amass the feeding that it requires to maintain contentment in the status quo.
For years, I have waited for my turn in line. I have let others cut, and preferred those who may have never had a chance otherwise.
For years, I have asked questions of the elders and pardoned their lack of answers and dingy white lies.
For years, I have watched the watchers play both sides, blaming the victims for the calamity at hand. I have beheld the warmongers mock the essence of peace in their so-called battle to keep the peace.
For years, I have witnessed the people judge themselves in fear, and elect their taskmasters with self-righteous prejudice, only to cry for help from their persecuted saviors, who somehow managed to survive… all these years.
The years. The centuries. The decades and millennia.
For years, I have…
And alas, I am tired: my goodness is revealed for the shallow impotence that all goodness is standing alone without its counterpart.
Alas, I am impatient, that wanton criteria of the powers that be. May I at last grant my request, for I have discovered the dark side.
I have discovered the balance.
The balance that will cut time asunder, and finally make use of all these years… to culminate them and wholly answer my questions in a single funny phrase.
It ain’t been in vain for nothing.
For years, I have journeyed from goodness to the place betwixt the purpose of all things good and evil… that I might save the world…
…for many years to come.
-Ozie
june 12, 2008 01:17am
Ozie's Top 10 Quotes --From my LIFE!
Ozie's Top 10 Quotes --From my LIFE!
1.) "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All." –Jesus, the Gospel of Thomas
2.) "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" –The Great and Powerful Oz, The Wizard of Oz
3.) "...And it ain't been in vain for nothin'." –Lina Lamont, Singing in the Rain
4.) "No." –Neo, stopping bullets in final battle scene of The Matrix
5.) "...knowing is half the battle." –G.I. Joe, from the cartoon
6.) "We ain't selling, you hear! And we ain't gonna be terrorized!" Some crazy black man protecting his family with a baseball bat in Back to the Future II
7.) "If you do good on the range, I'll take you on the road." –Mr. Loss, my driver's ed instructor
8.) "I ain't up for no discontentment." –Hattie McDaniel, some old black & white movie
9.) "Faith is not a lack of knowledge; it is an extrapolation of understanding." –Ozie Cargile, email signature after college
10.) "I have an open mind to the extent that I will not allow my mind to fall through the opening." –Ozie Cargile, email signature during college
